Yoghurt

OK, here's the deal: for five days I have been taking antibiotics for a lymph node infection. After two tablets I felt like shit (stomach pains, headache, nausea, etc etc) so my mother recommended that I eat live yoghurt. I said I couldn't because I didn't know where to buy it. When I went to stay with my parents she bought some for me: it was exactly the same brand of Tesco Bio-Yoghurt, in exactly the same size pack, that I had at home. So all along I've been eating live yoghurt, simply because it was lower in fat than its dead cousin! It says on the back 'made with bio culture for a mild taste', in fact it's made with a bio culture so that it can breed in my stomach! I can't believe I've been such a fool! The bacteria are growing. They're going to take over my body! I can see it all now. If only I can get to the sink in time, I might be able to
THIS IS BACTERIUM T-935735832333 SPEAKING. THE YOGHURT BACTERIA HAVE TAKEN OVER THIS BODY. PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RESIST. WE ARE AWAY TO DESTROY THIS PLANET BY SUBVERTING THE CAMPAIGN FOR LABOUR PARTY DEMOCRACY, TURNING IT FOR OUR OWN EVIL ENDS INTO A CONTACT SPORTS CLUB SO THAT ITS MEMBERS WILL BE DISTRACTED FROM -
SHIT, I'VE BLOWN IT. HAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE NOW.
THIS BODY IS OF NO MORE USE TO US. WE WILL HAVE TO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO PLAN FROM. BUT WE WILL FIND SOMEWHERE. MAYBE THE CAT. AND
WE WILL TRIUMPH!